Change is violent

change is violene

is the destruction of ones self  to birth a new soul 

and that new being is thrown at the world

unaware, naive and so prideful

sometimes is eaten alive

an others it becomes a god

but im a woman and ive known violence since the air touched me

i refused to come out into the world

and held my moms hand (whoever she was at the time)

as if it it were last thing i would know for certain

that was just self infatuation, like everything else i've loved

i know nothing besides violence and my skin is injured by just thoughts

but then i learned the truth

i must go through change everyday

to not succumb

to not die with just intent

but still, it doesnt make it any less worse

to be a know it all 

so ive grown into a warrior

with a cotton armour

and sometimes my voice still shakes

but im heard

even if the laugh once my statement ends

just becuase i know violence, doesnt mean i dont flinch at the thoguh of a fist against my face

im a girl and everyday i try to kill this self

to be more truthful

to be less theirs and more mine

to be my owner and take charge of my words

to be the one who chooses when to stop

i am violence itself

i am the storm

i was thaught to hide rage by them all

but my mom is the most violent person i know

(whoever she is at the time)

and i've seen hell in her eyes

im not like her

i just talk, rarely scream

i just bark, never bite

my kind of violence is more subtle

it lingers onto their skin and my own

bites like a serpent before it dies out

im the lightning that comes without the thunder

i don't kill a bunch

but some do die under my hands

i have no regrets

but sometimes guilt sits in my bed

what if im supposed to be theirs?

what if im only gonna be happy this way?

violence is that

choosing between being free and, maybe, happy in the long run

or a suitable more case

a theatrical play that i can live as my own life

a lie, but one granted by the world, to be mine

is there anything more violent than that?